Santa Banta sms

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  1. One day Santas Girlfriend asks him, One day Santas Girlfriend asks him, Darling, om our Engagement will you give me a RING?Santa:Ya sure, Give me ur Telephone No Santa went out to buy an Indian flag. The shop owner gave him the flag. Guess what did he ask next...
    Ismein aur colour dikhayiye.
  2. Jeeto: If I die what'll you do?
    Santa: I may also die.
    Jeeto: Why?
    Santa: Some time too much of happiness can also kill a man.
  3. Santa (reading from book of facts): "Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?" Banta: "Why don't you use a mouth wash?"
  4. Q: Why did Santa take his pregnant wife Jeeto to Pizza Hut? A: Because they advertised: 'Free Delivery
  5. Santa walks into a library & says, "Can I have a burger and coke?" Librarian, "I'm sorry, this is a library." Santa whispers, "Can I have a burger & fries?"
  6. Santa was drawing money from ATM. Banta, who was just behind him in the line said: I've seen ur password. It’s ****. Sant: U r wrong. It’s 1394.

  7. Santa ke bagiche mein bahut sare ped - paude thay, Santa naukar ko bola ped-paudon ko pani dal.
    Naukar: Sahab baarish ho rahi hai.
    Santa: Abe to Chatri leke dal.
  8. Banta asked Santa: Why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in evening?
    Santa: Very simple, because he is PM not AM
  9. Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call.
    Santa: Who r u? Girl: Seeta here.
    Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, yeh to Ayodhya mil gaya
  10. Santa: Sir hun meri salary wada diyo, mera vyah ho gaye hai.
    Boss: Factory de bahar hon wale hadseyan layi factory jimmevar nahin hundi
  11. Santa: Yaar mein apni girlfriend nu gift dena hai, ki devan?
    Banta: Gold ring de de.
    Santa: Koi vadi cheez das yaar.
    Banta: Tan fer MRF da tyre de de.
  12. Pappu was writing his father's name on a 1000 Watt bulb.
    Santa asked him: What are you doing?
    Pappu: Aapka naam roshan kar raha hoon.
  13. An Englishman and Santa inside the toilet.
    Englishman: Good evening, how do u do?
    Santa: Gud evening, we open the zip and do.
  14. Santa to Pappu: Where's Sukhna Lake?
    Pappu: Pata nahi.
    Santa: Kabhi ghar se bhi nikla karo.
    Pappu: Who's Banta?
    Santa: Pata nai.
    Pappu: Kabhi ghar me bhi raha karo.
  15. Gurdas Maan: Santa ji, aapke bhai ki shaadi mein kitne gaane gaane hain, us hisab se rate lagega?
    Santa: 2-3 gaa kar prg shuru kar dena, baad mein sharabi baraat ne generator ki awaaz par hi naachte rehna hai
  16. Santa sent an SMS to his pregnant wife. Couple of seconds later he received a report on his phone and he started to dance. The report said: 'Delivered'
  17. Jeeto: Kal raat tum mujhe neend mein tumne mujhe gaaliyan di
    Santa: Tumhari galat fahami hai.
    Jeeto: Kaisi galatfahami?
    Santa: Yehi ki mein soya tha.
  18. A man to Santa: Ur friend is kissing ur wife in ur home.
    Santa rushes home and came back within half an hour n slapped the man n said: He's not my friend.
  19. Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.
    Santa: Hai.
    Frog: Nahin hai.
    Santa: Hai.
    Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well.
    Santa: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?
  20. An astronomer was watching
    the sky from his telescope
    Santa Singh was observing him,
    Suddenly a star falls,
    seeing that Santa Singh shouted,
    "Kya nishana lagaya hai!"
  21. Gabbar: Arey o Sambha 
    Sambha: Ji Sardar
    Gabbar: Kitne Admi the re?
    Sambha: Do Sardar
    Gabbar: Mujhe ginti nahi aati. Do kitne hotey hain?
    Sambha: Sardar Do Ek ke baad ata hai.
    Gabbar: Aur Do ke pehle?
    Sambha: Do ke pehle Ek aata hai
    Gabbar: To bich mein kaun aata hai?
    Sambha: Bich mein koi nahi aata
    Gabbar: To fir Dono ek saath kyon nahi atey?
    Sambha: Do Ek ke baad hi aa sakta hai, kyonki Do ek se bada hai.
    Gabbar: Do ek se bada hai? Kitna bada hai?
    Sambha Do ek se Ek bada hai?
    Gabbar: Agar Do ek se ek bada hai to ek ek se kitna bada hai?
    Sambha: Sardar, Maine tumhara namak khaya hai, mujhe goli mardo par mera dimag to na khao
  22. Banta ek sadhu se bola: Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao. Sadhu: Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?
  23. One day Santas Girlfriend asks him, Darling, om our Engagement will you give me a RING?Santa:Ya sure, Give me ur Telephone No.
  24. Santa: Yaar Tum Nay Apni Biwi Ko Talaq Kyoon Di Banta: Yaar Wo Bari Character Less Thi Shaadi Muj Say Ki Hai Aur Bacha Bagwaan Say Mangti Hai
  25. Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai. Santa: Hai. Frog: Nahin hai. Santa: Hai. Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well. Santa: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?
  26. Santa: I’m a proud father. My son is in medical college. Banta: What’s he studying? Santa: He's not studying, they are studying him!
  27. Banta:how did u got a new car? Santa:A girl drove me to a beach, took her cloth & and said: take what do u want & i took car banta: good yaar kapde ki karne si.
  28. SARDAR JI TOOK OUT HIS WALLET, IN THE BUS, HIS PHOTO FELL OUT OF HIS WALLET, HE GOES 2 A LADY,'MADAM JI SARI UPHAR KAROGE PHOTO LENA HAI, AND ALL THE OTHER MEN IN THE BUS BEATED HIM UP!!!!!!!!
  29. Banta ek sadhu se bola: Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao. Sadhu: Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?
  30. While walking in the highlands Santa fell down a deep hole. Banta: R u ok? Santa: Yeah! Banta: Did u break anything? Santa: No, there's nothing down here
  31. Santa was riding on a horse. He jumped the red light & a cop whistles. Santa lifts the tail of horse & says: 'Le Karle Number Note'
  32. young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He figured if he hurried and played very fast, he could get in 9 holes before he had to head home.
  33. One day Santas Girlfriend asks him, Darling, om our Engagement will you give me a RING?Santa:Ya sure, Give me ur Telephone No.
  34. santa first tme travelling in plane Plane being to run on runway santa got angry n said salio jahaaj ta agge he 4 ghate late aa te tusi sadko-sadki pa lia.
  35. Kya mangu khuda se tumhe pane ke bad, 
    Kiska karu intzar tere ane ke bad,
    kyo kisi ke liye jan luta dete hai log,
    Mujhe malom hua tumhe pane ke bad... 
    ************ ********* ********* ********* ** 
    Mohabbat Ka Imtihaan Aasan Nahi,
    Pyaar Sirf Paaney ka Naam Nahi,
    Muddatein Beeth Jaati Hai Kissi Ke Intezaar Mein,
    Yeh Sirf Pal Do Pal ka Kaam Nahin. 
    ************ ********* ********* ********* **

    Aapki Berukhi Koh Bhi Rutabaa Diya Humney,
    Pyaar Ka Harr Farz Adaa kiya Humney,
    Na Sochiye ki Bhool Gaye hain Aapko,
    Aaj Bhi Khuda sey pehle aapko yaad kiya humney. 
    ************ ********* ********* ********* **

    Nah Jaane aapke intna yakeen kyon hai,
    Aapka khayal bhi itna haseen kyon hai,
    Jaante hai ki aapka deedaar namumkin hai,
    Phir bhi aankon mein intezaar wahi hai... 
    ************ ********* ********* ********* ** 
    Kudrat ke karishmey mein gar raat nah hoti,
    Khwabon mein bhi unsey mulaqaat nah hoti,
    Yeh dil toh har ek gum ki wajah hai,
    Yeh dil nah hota toh koi baat nah hoti.
    ************ ********* ********* ********* ** 

    Shikayat nah karta zamaane sey koi,
    Agar maan jaata mananey sey koi,
    Kissi koh phir yaad na karta koi,
    Agar bhool jaate bhoolane sey koi. 
    ************ ********* ********* ********* ** 

    Ek pal ehsaas ban key aate hoh,
    Aur doosre pal khwaab ban ke udd jaatey hoh,
    Yeh maloom hai ki tanhai sey darr hai humey,
    Phir bhi baar baar tanha chod jaatey hoh....
    ************ ********* ********* ********* ** 
    Aankhein Khuli Hoh Toh Chehra Aapka Hoh,
    Aankhein Bandh Hoh Toh Sapnaa Aapka Hoh,
    Humey Maut Ka Na Darr Na Khauff Hoga,
    Agar Kafan Ki Jagah Dupatta Aapka Hoh. 
    ************ ********* ********* ********* ** 

    Pyaara Sa Ek Ehsaas Hain Aap,
    Harr Pal Humhare Paas Hain Aap,
    Jiney Ki Ek Aas Hain Aap,
    Mann Ka Ek Vishwaas Hain Aap,
    Shayad Ish Liye Kuch Khaas Hain Aap.
    ************ ********* ********* ********* ** 

    Humhara Harr Lamha Churaa Liya Aap ney,
    Aankhon Koh Ek Chaand Dikha Diya Aap ney,
    Humey Zindagii Toh Dii Kissi Aur ney,
    Par Itna De Kar Jeena Sikha Diya Aap ney. 
    ************ ********* ********* ********* ** 
    Kitna bhi chaho na bhool paoge hume
    jitni door jaoge nazdik paoge hume
    mita sakte ho to mita do yaaden meri
    magar kya sanso se juda kar paoge hume. 
    ************ ********* ********* ********* ** 
    Dil ki baat jo na aaye zubaa pe,
    Wo aankho ke sariye bayan ho jaati hai,
    Hume jo mohobbat hain tumse janne man,
    Ye paigham khud ba khud bayya kar jaata hai" 
    ************ ********* ********* ********* ** 
    "Paigam - e - muhobbat chaar lafzon mein baya karoon,
    Kaise jurrat kare ke khuda ke karamat ki tareef karoon,
    Yun to ek jhuki nazar keh deta hai sab kuch,
    Par jo na samje, uski badnassebi ko kya kahoon?"" 
    ************ ********* ********* ********* ** 
    Mohabbaton me Zarasi kasak zaroori Hai.....
    Shikayatonke gulonki Mahek Zarooree Hai...
    Koi sawal Karoon Main Tumse to Naaraz mat hona Jaan....
    Kyon ki Sachche Pyar me thoda sa shak zarooree hai... 
    ************ ********* ********* ********* ** 
    Muddat se door the Hum...
    Aap miley..Aaap ka milna Achcha laga...
    Sagar se gehree lagee Aapki Mohabbat...
    Tairna to aata tha...Per Doobna Achcha Laga..... 
    ************ ********* ********* ********* ** 
    Wo Waqt wo lamhe Kuch ajeeb Honge.....
    Duniya me hum khush Naseeb honge...
    Door se jab Itna Yaad karte hai aapko.
    Kya Hoga Jab aap humare Kareeb honge... 
    ************ ********* ********* ********* ** 
    Guzar gaye woh chaman se bahar ki tarah, 
    aankhon main bas gaye hai intezaar ki tarah, 
    kaise bhula de unhe hum apni yaadon se, 
    unhone inkaar bhi kiya izhaar ki tarah...... 
    ************ ********* ********* ********* ** 
    Dil se teri yaad na jaaye to kya karoon
    Tasveer mein tu hi tu nazar aaye to kya karoon
    Lene ko to le aayon tumhe khwaboon mein
    Par neend hi na aaye to kya karoon 
    ************ ********* ********* ********* ** 
    Kuch Nasha Aapki Baat ka hai.. 
    Kuch Nasha Dhimi Barsat ka hai, 
    Hame aap yuhi Sharabi maat Kahiye, 
    ye dil par asar aapse pahali mulakat ka hai... 
    ************ ********* ********* ********* ** 

    Mohabat ho gayi jinse shikayat unse kya hogi, 
    zuban tak baat jo aayi yakinan woh dua hogi, 
    agar woh ruth gaye mujhse ......
    To zarur koi meri hi khata hogi.. 
    ************ ********* ********* ********* ** 
    Kuch riste anjane me jud jate hain,
    pehle dil phir zindgi se jud jate hai,
    kehte hai us daur ko mohabbat,
    jisme dil se dil na jane kab mil jate hai. 
    ************ ********* ********* ********* ** 
    Hamari yaad me wo bhi kabhi khoye honge,
    Khuli aankhon se wo bhi kabhi soye honge,
    Mana ke muskurana andaaz hai gam chupane ka,
    Magar hanste hanste wo bhi kabhi roye honge- 
    ************ ********* ********* ********* ** 
    Luv not one, Luv not two Luv d one who luvs u true,
    Luv not three, Luv not four Luv d one who luvs u more, 
    Luv not five, Luv not six Luv d one who really sticks, 
    Luv not seven, Luv not eight Luv d one who really waits. 
    ************ ********* ********* ********* ** 
    simple Bye make us cry,
    A simple Joke make us laugh,
    A simple Care make us fall in love.
    I hope my simple SMS make you think of me.
    ............ ......... ......... ......... ......... .. .. I Miss U 
    ************ ********* ********* ********* ** 
    unhe to fursat nahi milne ki humse,
    aur hamara waqt guzarata hai unki fariyaad karke,
    agar aaye woh meri maut pe,
    toh keh dena abhi soye hain tumhe yaad karke 
    ************ ********* ********* ********* ** ************ ********* ********* ********* ** 
    Ish nazar koh aapka intezaar rehta hai,
    Dil aapse milne koh beqaraar rehta hai,
    Aap humsey miley yah nah miley,
    Phir bhi humhara pyaar barqaraar rehta hai.
    ************ ********* ********* ********* ** 

    Nikalte hain aason jab mulaqat nahi hoti,
    Tot jata hai yeh dil jab bat nahi hoti,
    Aapki jan ki kasam ea dost,
    Jab aapki yad nah aaye aisi koi sham nhi hoti.
    ************ ********* ********* ********* ** 

    Tarasti nigahaon ki pyaas hain aap,
    Tadapti dil ki aas hain aap,
    Bujhti zindagi ki saans hain aap,
    Phir kaise nah kahe ki kuch khaas hain aap.
    ************ ********* ********* ********* ** 

    Ush din khuda ney bhi jasn manaya hoga,
    Jis din aapko apne haaton sey banaya hoga,
    Ush ney bhi bahahe honge aasoon,
    Jab aapko bhej kar khud koh tanha paya hoga.
    ************ ********* ********* ********* ** 

    Hum toh sirf aapki baat kiya karte hain,
    Har dhadkan pey aapki naam liya karte hain,
    Aap hoh humey humari jaan sey bhi pyaare,
    Tabhi toh waqt bewaqt aapko yaad kiya karte hain. 

    ************ ********* ********* 

    Aapki ek muskurahat NE hamarey hosh udaa diye.
    Aapki ek muskurahat NE hamarey hosh udaa diye. 

    Hum hosh me aane hi wale the.
    Ki aap Phir se muskura diye ....


    ************ ********* ********* 


    PHOOL bankar muskurana zindagi hai.. 
    MUSKURA ke gum bhulana zindagi hai.. 

    Mil kar khush hue to kya hue.. 
    Bina mile rishte nibhana zindagi hai..


    ************ ********* ********* 


    Deepak me agar noor na hota,
    Tanha dil majboor na hota, 

    Hum aapse goodmrng kehne zaroor aate 
    Agar apka ghar itni dur na hota. 


    ************ ********* ********* 

    DOSTI AGAR BURI HAI TO USE HONE MAT DO,
    HO GAYI TO USE KHONE NA DO, 

    AUR AGAR DOST HO SABSE PYARA TO USE SONE MAT DO.......
    !! JAGTE RAHO !! 


    ************ ********* ********* 


    Kasoor na unka tha na hamara,
    Hum dono hi rishto ki rasam nibhate rahe, 

    Who dosti ka ehsaas jatate rahe,
    Hum mohabbat ko dil me chhupate rahe.


    ************ ********* ********* 


    Nazar tumhari, Nazar hamari, 
    Nazar NE dil ki nazar utari, 

    Nazar NE dekha nazar ko aise, 
    Ki nazar dosti ko lage na hamari. 


    ************ ********* ********* 

    Tussi hasde ho saanu hassan vaste, 
    Tussi ronde ho saanu rovvan vaset, 

    Tussi 1 vaar ruske te vekho, 
    Mar jayenge tuhanu manaan vaste. 


    ************ ********* ********* 
    ************ ********* ********* 


    Rishton ki ye duniye hai niraali, 
    Sab riston se pyaari hai dosti tumhaar! I. 

    Manzoor hai aansu bhi aakho mein hamaree, 
    Agar AA jaaye muskaan hont pe tumahari. 


    ************ ********* ********* 


    Duriyon ki na parwah kiya kijiye,
    Dil jab bhi pukare bula lijiye, 

    Hum door jyaada nahi aapse,
    Bas apni aankhon ko palko se mila lijiye.


    ************ ********* ********* 


    Waqt NE sari kahani hi badal dali,
    Pyar ka naam Jo aata hai to Dar lagta hai, 

    Zakham kuch aise bhi apno NE diye hai mujhko,
    AB koi haath milata hai to Dar lagta hai, 


    ************ ********* ********* 


    Na kabhi muskurahat aapke hoton se dur ho,
    Aapki har khwahish hakikat me manzur ho, 

    Ho jaye Jo aap humse khafa,
    Khuda na kare humse kabhi aisa kasoor ho…
  36. Santa:yaar main apna purse ghar bhool aya mujhe 1000 Rs chahiyen Banta:fiker mat ker dost he dost k kaam ata hai yeh le 10 Rs rikshaw kerwa aur purse le aa
  37. santa singh to his saali: aap ke sheher ki sab se mashhoor cheez kaun si hai saali: koi nahi jija ji, jo mashhoor thi woh to aap le gaye
santa and banta were walking on the road and a well shaped lady was walking infront of them santa: kia maal hai yaar banta: yaar, maal se yaad aya bhabhi ka kia haal hai??

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